In which I explain my deep loathing for what I consider to be the laziest and possibly one of the best inventions since… something other then sliced bread.
Crock pots, slow cookers, whatever you want to call them, are suppose to be gods gift to the busy spouse/parent/PTO president/girl scout troop leader next door. I’m sure that some people find them to be exactly that. But I simply don’t understand how. I’ve managed to make 1 successful meal in them in my life, and that took 14 hours. I could have easily made the same thing in a real pan on the stove in 4. I will very happily admit that I have a background in food service, and spent 5 years working in various kitchens around my lovely town. So yes maybe I am a little biased, and a little stubborn about my cooking methods. I don’t like being limited to 2 heat settings, low and high. What can you possibly cook with 2 heat settings?! I digress. My lovely boyfriend, who for the purpose of this blog will be called The Man, asked me to make chili this week. I was more then happy to oblige, as I love my chili recipe, and I haven’t made it in quite a while. I also figured it would give me a chance to make it in the crock pot, because it’s hot outside and that would mean less leaning over a hot stove. And I will master this #$%&ing crock pot cooking thing if it kills me.
So I started. I knew it would be different, because I wouldn’t be able to caramelize the onions and the garlic, and I wouldn’t be able to brown the meat. That’s ok, I decided to let the meat stew with the garlic and peppers and onions till it was cooked. So I let it stew… and stew… and stew… two hours later I gave up and added the broth, figuring maybe it would start to boil, and that would finally cook the meat. It sorta worked, no boiling but FINALLY the meat was cooked. Which was good because my kitchen-spidey “ew you shouldn’t be eating that” senses were starting to kick in. The rest of the ingredients went in and I went to watch some TV. The timer was set, 30 minutes for a stir, on my stove 30 minutes wouldn’t have done too much, but it would have been slightly thickened and the onions would be completely transparent. In the crock pot nothing had changed. The onions were still crunchy (they’ve been cooking for well over an hour by now) and there wasn’t a hint of thickening. Two hours later and it was still the same story, not a hint, seriously, NOT EVEN A HINT of thickening! It should have been done by then! I should have been scooping bowls full of thick chunky chili that looked more like a nice thick curry full of chicken and bean and lots of other delicious things into Tupperware for lunch for me and the wonderful man this week. I knew I had to leave it on overnight, so I added more broth, just in case it ran dry and burned down my house, and turned it on low.
This morning I woke up to a house that smelled of chili and made my tummy happy. I immediately had lovely thoughts of my lunch today. So I went upstairs to check on it and it looked lovely. Till I stirred it. It’s still a big brothy bowl spicy chicken soup.
Crock pot 1 – Girl 0